What Kills Passion in Relationships?

In a new relationship, it’s easy to be crazy and destroy your relationship with your partner or friends. Even if you two are not one of those couples who are head over heels in love, it is not hard to keep the passion alive for a more exciting time in the bedroom. But it doesn’t mean that things won’t change as time goes by.

No matter how long the relationship has lasted, there are times when the spark between two lovers begins to fade. The reality is that couples need to work on their relationship to keep the affection alive. 

And, it begins by spotting things that KILL passion in the relationship. Once you know the main culprit, you can focus on putting energy into the relationship. Of course, couples who are creative when it comes to tackling relationship blues do a much better job than those who just give up. 

If you’re worried about losing the charm, spark, and that newness you used to have with your partner, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s all you need to know about what kills passion in relationships. 

Why You Need To Nourish Passion

Passion is among the strongest emotions you can experience. Unlike the rest, it’s immensely powerful and leaves no choice except to act upon something. Emotion is vital for every romantic relationship because it inspires couples to act on their commitment. It manifests through unwavering affection, even when a relationship goes through a rough patch.

According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, when you’re in love, you experience an obsessive attachment as if someone is camped out in your head. With her team, she conducted a groundbreaking experiment at Stone Brook University on 37 couples who were madly in love.  

She used an MRI scanner to show that a new relationship causes a quick surge of activity in the brain, particularly the areas rich in dopamine- a feel-good chemical. Another study on brain activity when in love compared couples who have been together for a week versus couples who were in a year-long relationship.

The results found that the couples who had been together for a year had more active brain regions linked with a long-term attachment.

How Do Couples Lose Attraction in a Relationship?

Stages of Attraction

If you think love stems from hearts, you’re not alone. Many people believe that as they experience a unique feeling in the chest as their heart thuds and thumps while forming a connection with someone. Interestingly, it doesn’t end here. You may feel plenty of other physiological reactions, including flushed cheeks, sweaty palms, and ‘butterflies in your stomach.’ Not to mention, you may stutter or struggle to articulate your thoughts in front of the person you love. 

Did you know that all these haywire, crazy feelings are a result of the chemicals your brain releases?  

Helen Fisher divided the science of love into three categories.

• Lust – estrogen, and testosterone
• Attraction – Dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine
• Attachment – vasopressin, and oxytocin

Lust

It is the first stage of your romantic love that comes with an intense sexual desire towards an individual. The brain’s hypothalamus stimulates sex hormones testosterone and estrogen. They have an important role in the early phases of attraction and shaping sexuality and physiology.

Attraction

When you spend time with someone, you feel attracted and want to engage in a physical relationship. 

Remember that dopamine is the natural stimulant that can fill you with emotions of love and ecstasy.

Attachment Phase

This is the final stage of attraction and is a defining feature of a long-term relationship. The previous stages of attraction are exclusive to euphoric stages to fall in love romantically. The attachment stage is more about developing a meaningful bond between two people. The two main hormones included in this stage are oxytocin (a love or cuddle hormone) and vasopressin (after sex hormone).

Infatuation vs. Long Term Attachment

While love is all about passion, enthusiasm, warm attachment, and devotion towards another person, infatuation refers to an obsessively strong feeling of admiration or interest in someone. Infatuation eventually fades with time, while long-term attachment remains.  

Love Tips to Strengthen a Bond

Never Compare Younger Bonds with Older Relationships

• It’s hard to adjust to changes in your significant other’s behavior. But comparing your relationship from when you were younger versus now isn’t a healthy perspective. It only highlights negative changes and distances you two even further. 

Know that infatuation Doesn’t Last Long

• As mentioned above, infatuation is a temporary feeling of admiration that goes away when you move on in your relationship. Sure, it’s not easy to like someone all the time, but if you know you’re with the right person, staying in a relationship won’t be a struggle.

Understand That A Relationships Needs Time to Deepen

• Like any other relationship, love also takes time to strengthen and deepen. When you go through major life experiences and changes with your significant other, the relationship grows stronger.

How to Create More Passion in a Relationship

Try New Things Together

• It is a tried and tested remedy to create passion in your relationship. Get into uncharted waters to bring your partner closer while testing the bond of your relationship. Try to do it in a fun way that leaves you with a long-lasting and enjoyable memory that can act as a passion-bonding agent. Whether it is cooking together or trying out icing skating, never hesitate to spend time with your loved one.

Set Goals Together to Challenge Each Other

• This is the hard work and effort we talked about in the beginning. To make your relationship work, you need to set goals to achieve mutual love and understanding together. Challenge each other to make things more exciting and passionate. Then, don’t forget to reward your partner with something special if he/she wins.

Take out More Time for Each Other

• Rediscover your passion by spending more time together. Here, you need to be a little vigilant and proactive about sparing time to be with your significant other. Keep in mind that a little effort can make a world of difference in your relationship by sparking and igniting your love for each other.

Summing Up

Has your passion fizzled out? Try out the given tips to get back your emotional connection and establish a lasting relationship.